It's the 11th hour (well, I guess it's actually about the 7th hour, but I hope to be asleep by about the 10th) and I'm still up a creek (crik) without a paddle when it comes to making a decision about who gets my support tomorrow. I thank everyone for all of the comments which have certainly served to help convince me that Bush is not the right way to go. However, no effort was expended in conveying any of Kerry's merits (other than not being Bush). Fortunately, both candidates are regular readers of my blog so I will use this forum to write a letter to both of them.
Dear President Bush,
I would really like to vote for you tomorrow, but there are some things that are weighing on my mind. I don't really like the way you started the war in Iraq, turning your back on the Congress and the UN and all, but I'm willing to forgive this. I'm more concerned about the future than the past. I don't like war, Mr President, and I would like for it to stop. I know you think it would be a sign of weakness to try out any option other than the one we've already started in Iraq, but innocent people are having their heads sawn off at least once a week! If this keeps happening, no one is going to want to help you rebuild Iraq whether they are American contractors or Iraqi police. We need to figure out a way for people to stop getting their heads cut off because it's not very good for the public morale.
Also, I would like to support you in finishing the Iraq war, but I want this to be the last one. No more pre-emptive war, please. You have all but laid out a list of countries you want to invade as soon as we free up soldiers from Iraq. Look at how hard it has been to "liberate" Iraq; you must realize that Iran will be a thousand times harder. So please, no more war unless there's a really good reason and we are directly provoked first. Diplomacy is also nice. I know you aren't too familiar with it but I'm sure there's someone around in one of those pretty big white buildings who could explain it to you.
One last thing, I appreciate your religious beliefs, but don't be so quick to try to enforce them as law. Please don't pursue the marriage amendment and please let scientists do the work they think is worth doing. And please, play nice with the constitution, it's really a pretty handy little document.
That's all I want. Finish this war and don't start anymore. Remember that not everyone has the same religious beliefs as you do and it's not your job to legislate them. And be careful with my personal freedom. That's all I want this election year. You can keep giving out huge corporate tax breaks and bowing down to the NRA; we can deal with that sometime down the road. That's all I want, do all these things and this year I'll vote for you.
Your friend and registered voter,
Matt
Dear Mr. Kerry,
Who are you? What do you want? What do you plan on doing as president? Yeah, I know, middle-class, health-care, blah, blah, blah...you guys say that every year but we all know that the Republicans will never let you do any of it. So what are you going to do? What are your real plans? How do you plan to make America better in a realistic way? Let me know and you might get my vote, because I doubt W will go along with what I've asked from him.
Your friend and registered voter,
Matt
Well, in the unlikely event that neither candidate leaves a comment responding to my letter, I do have a back up plan. Some of you may be wondering who that floating head on the right sidebar of my page belongs to. That is the visage of Whitworth philosophy professor Forrest Baird who has edited the textbook series "Philosophic Classics." If neither candidate responds, I will be writing in Forrest Baird for Philosopher King. I figure he could straighten things out.
Dear President Bush,
I would really like to vote for you tomorrow, but there are some things that are weighing on my mind. I don't really like the way you started the war in Iraq, turning your back on the Congress and the UN and all, but I'm willing to forgive this. I'm more concerned about the future than the past. I don't like war, Mr President, and I would like for it to stop. I know you think it would be a sign of weakness to try out any option other than the one we've already started in Iraq, but innocent people are having their heads sawn off at least once a week! If this keeps happening, no one is going to want to help you rebuild Iraq whether they are American contractors or Iraqi police. We need to figure out a way for people to stop getting their heads cut off because it's not very good for the public morale.
Also, I would like to support you in finishing the Iraq war, but I want this to be the last one. No more pre-emptive war, please. You have all but laid out a list of countries you want to invade as soon as we free up soldiers from Iraq. Look at how hard it has been to "liberate" Iraq; you must realize that Iran will be a thousand times harder. So please, no more war unless there's a really good reason and we are directly provoked first. Diplomacy is also nice. I know you aren't too familiar with it but I'm sure there's someone around in one of those pretty big white buildings who could explain it to you.
One last thing, I appreciate your religious beliefs, but don't be so quick to try to enforce them as law. Please don't pursue the marriage amendment and please let scientists do the work they think is worth doing. And please, play nice with the constitution, it's really a pretty handy little document.
That's all I want. Finish this war and don't start anymore. Remember that not everyone has the same religious beliefs as you do and it's not your job to legislate them. And be careful with my personal freedom. That's all I want this election year. You can keep giving out huge corporate tax breaks and bowing down to the NRA; we can deal with that sometime down the road. That's all I want, do all these things and this year I'll vote for you.
Your friend and registered voter,
Matt
Dear Mr. Kerry,
Who are you? What do you want? What do you plan on doing as president? Yeah, I know, middle-class, health-care, blah, blah, blah...you guys say that every year but we all know that the Republicans will never let you do any of it. So what are you going to do? What are your real plans? How do you plan to make America better in a realistic way? Let me know and you might get my vote, because I doubt W will go along with what I've asked from him.
Your friend and registered voter,
Matt
Well, in the unlikely event that neither candidate leaves a comment responding to my letter, I do have a back up plan. Some of you may be wondering who that floating head on the right sidebar of my page belongs to. That is the visage of Whitworth philosophy professor Forrest Baird who has edited the textbook series "Philosophic Classics." If neither candidate responds, I will be writing in Forrest Baird for Philosopher King. I figure he could straighten things out.
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