Matt's blog

The story of me, an American in Edinburgh, Scotland finding my place as a musician, a husband, a father and a Christian.

Breakfast for Dinner

Breakfast for Dinner has become something of a Price family custom in the last few months. We started by having breakfast burritos once a week or so. After I picked up a big bag of Krusteaz buttermilk pancake mix, pancakes were often on the menu. We were supposed to have beef stew tonight, but when I realized we had run out of money to buy the ingredients I changed tonight's entry on our weekly meal plan to b4d.

At first I was just going to do pancakes again, since they've been such a hit with both of us, but I decided I felt like something different. We had everything we needed in our flat to make a spinach, mushroom and onion frittata, so I went for it. Here's the recipe with all measurements and times given in IMM (International Matt Measure), a measuring "standard" which drove Jeni crazy for the first year and a half we were married.

You'll need:
An onion
A few mushrooms
Some spinach
Some eggs

Cut up the onion and the mushrooms. Wash and chop the spinach, getting rid of the stems in the process. The proportions of these ingredients to each other are of UTMOST IMPORTANCE to the success of this dish, so follow my instructions carefully. If you're Matt or Jeni, use less of the chopped onion than you think you need, if you are anyone else, use more. When your mushrooms are chopped their pile should be larger that that of the onions, but not substantially larger. An unbiased third party should be able to judge that the mushrooms are greater, but not abundant. When chopping the spinach, be sure the number of chopped spinach pieces you end up with exceeds the number of spinach leaves you started with. If this is not the case, something has gone wrong and you would perhaps be better served trying a different recipe. Toast? Grate your cheese until the resulting pile is attractive to the eyes, invigorating to the nose and insubstantial to the ears.

To recap, you should now have this much of each chopped filling:
Onions: Less (or more)
Mushrooms: A healthy amount, shy of plentiful but exceeding adequate
Spinach: Similar to mushrooms, but greener
Cheese: Enough to provide satisfactory input to the majority of your senses

Sauté the onions, mushrooms and spinach. Put the onions in the pan first and give them enough time, but not too much, before you add the mushrooms. Add the mushrooms and sauté for the same amount of time which will likely be different (hint: it will be shorter). Add the spinach last and give it just long enough to wilt. Remove the mixture to a bowl to cool. You will know if your timing was right if it looks delicious, unless you don't like onions, mushrooms or spinach, in which case I would once again recommend a different recipe.

Put your eggs in a bowl and add some milk. I don't know why you do the milk thing, I just always have. You could leave it out and your frittata would likely still be awesome but simply have less calcium. Beat the eggs. I mean seriously. Beat 'em hard. This is your last chance, you won't be able to do it when they're in the pan. Beat them before it's too late. Beat the milk, too.

Start heating your pan. The secret to eggs is to cook them at very low heat, just barely above room temperature. In fact, if it's hotter outside than it is in your kitchen, you could just go place your pan out on the sidewalk or something. Ok, you actually can't do that. Unless it's really, really hot. Then you actually could. But what you should do is set your burner to medium low and melt a serious wad of butter in it. I mean serious. And I mean wad. Like, don't be shy to flash that buttah bling if ya got it, and ya better or else you best be gettin out of my kitchen (oh, snap). Ok, that was kind of silly, but really, use a lot of butter, like about 2/3 as much as you'd use for Kraft mac and cheese, unless you're AJ and make your mac with organic soy oil or some such nonsense. You need all this butter first to keep your frittata from sticking to the pan, since it's going to be cooking for a long time, and second to taste delicious.

When your butter is melted, add the cooled fillings and the grated cheese to the eggs. Pour them gently into the pool of fragrant melted butter in your pan. There should be enough butter that some of it overflows on to the top of the eggs. Don't worry, all that will do is make it awesome. Cover and cook for a while.

After one while, check to see how it's going. It probably needs another while. Give it one, perhaps even one and a half. Slow cooked eggs are happy eggs. After several whiles the eggs should be set and firm around the perimeter of the pan, but still almost completely raw in the middle. Now, I won't stop you from eating your frittata like this, but if you like your eggs a little less liquid you should move on to phase two.

Phase two consists of placing your frittata under the broiler for a few whiles to firm up the top. You could put a little extra cheese on top at this point. I won't give you any strict measurement here, just go with your gut. If you're lucky you have a pan with a metal handle which can go in the oven. If you're unlucky, like me, you can slide your frittata onto a plate or into a cake pan. You might think it's all screwed up at this point when it breaks and lands in the pan or on the plate in a general slop. Don't worry, just use a spatula to shove the least cooked stuff back into the middle and it will all be fine. Once again you don't want your broiler too hot, and you'll probably want to put some distance between the eggs and the broiler as well.

Check your frittata every now and then by giving it a little shake and watching it jiggle. It's pretty fun. As it cooks more and more it will jiggle less and less and become less and less fun. Eventually it will be no fun at all. Fortunately, that means it's time to eat! Let your frittata cool as you get out the plates and try to convince your wife with ridiculous hand gestures to get off the phone. Top your frittata with salt, pepper, tabasco and ketchup. Take your time to enjoy the fruits of your labor while your wife eats way too fast.

There you go! Feel free to print that up on a 3x5 card and add it to your recipie box!

7 Responses to “Breakfast for Dinner”

  1. # Blogger Jenevieve

    Everything I love (and hate) about your life philosophy is wrapped up in this post. And those hand gestures were pretty ridiculous.


  2. # Blogger Mariquita

    Can I use this recipe to teach my students how to write amusing things?

    I laughed really hard. And I'm really hungry now.  

  3. # Blogger liz

    That sounds splendiferous.  

  4. # Blogger Seth

    you really need to write a book  

  5. # Anonymous A.J.

    I infact make my Supermac and Cheese with Smart Balance Light and nonfat milk. I like it soupy.


  6. # Blogger Bianca

    Yes. Cookbook. Now.  

  7. # Blogger Dave

    Where to begin?

    1) That recipe would not fit on a 3x5 card, unless the letters were unreasonably small. Or, maybe it could be a 3' x 5' card...

    2) Ketchup goes only on potatoes. French fries, hash browns and that's it. Sparingly at that.

    3) I do need to branch out in to more non-phone-posted-photo blogs again.

    4) E-mail to set up a phone call!  

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