Matt's blog

The story of me, an American in Edinburgh, Scotland finding my place as a musician, a husband, a father and a Christian.

Half a Secret

First, read this comic:

Secrets are a funny thing. I've gone through a lot of stages in my life, and you can break up my life for easier categorization and manipulation through several methods. One method is to observe how willing I have been at particular moments in my life to let people "in". For a stretch early on in high school, my life was an open book. For the first time in my life I had things to say that other people thought were interesting, and nothing felt better than to talk for hours, laying on the table everything that I had. Perhaps I felt betrayed by some of the people I spilled my guts to, perhaps I just got cynical as time went on like people tend to do, but in either event I started to close myself off. I went through a stretch of time when there was nothing to me below the surface, or at least it didn't matter if there was because no one was going to get at it. Fast forward to today.

I am more comfortable with myself than I've ever been. That's a lie. That is a total and complete lie. I know who I am now more than I ever have before. That is the truth. I'd like to think that I'm comfortable with who I am to the point of being willing to share myself completely with others. However, the opportunity simply doesn't come up. Much like T-rex, I have gathered up an impressive bag of secrets not by withholding things, but simply by not going out of my way to divulge things.

This is the middle of this post, but I may never finish it. I am simply tired of writing right now and I don't really feel the need to go on. If you are reading this then you probably know my 'secrets' already so there's no reason to divulge them over again. Jeni wants me to come to bed. I think I'll go tonight instead of staying up 'til some unfortunate hour pouring precious time down the gaping sinkhole that is the internet.

Goodnight, all!

1 Responses to “Half a Secret”

  1. # Blogger Jenevieve

    Yay, bed! That sounds like a great idea. I think I'll go.  

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