Matt's blog

The story of me, an American in Edinburgh, Scotland finding my place as a musician, a husband, a father and a Christian.

Out of Touch

So I went to a bar last night to hang out with some people, which doesn't seem that extraordinary until you realize that this is only the second or third time I've done this in my life. I'm not really down with social interaction it turns out (and aside from this blog I'm not really down with the internet either, so I'm pretty much screwed). Anyway, I don't spend a lot of time hanging out with people in typical "hanging-out" settings: bars, parties, etc. In fact, I've always really hated these kinds of situations. But hey, I figured, it's been a while, I might as well try it again.

The problems with my plan soon became evident. I love alcohol, but I can't stand it when people drink too much. I hate cigarettes. I hate small talk. I can put up with all of this for the sake of getting out of the house and interacting with some real people, but when the conversation turns to, "Dude, I totally got it on with a girl who poses naked on the internet" or "Damn, the tits in that tube top..." I can put up with it no longer.

I'd rather hang on to my existential angst then go looking for meaning in this. It seems so worthless.

Well, I've hit a brick wall. That's the end of today's post. Comment to help prod my thoughts along, I've got plenty more to say on this subject, but I can't put it all together right now. It's something about how disconnected I am from the culture I live in, no radio, no TV, no video games, and how I'm supposed think about evangelizing to a world that makes me sick.

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