Matt's blog

The story of me, an American in Edinburgh, Scotland finding my place as a musician, a husband, a father and a Christian.


One of the hidden struggles for me is the struggle against my sense of entitlement. Materialistically, the struggle is hidden because I don’t really like to spend money, and I often don’t have money to spend anyway. When I do spend money, on things like a new car or a handmade guitar, I spend a long time making the decision to do so and convince myself that these are things I actually need and that I’m not being excessive and therefore I’m not being materialistic. I still don’t know what I think about all that so I won’t get into it right now.

I also struggle with a spiritual sense of entitlement. I’m on God’s side and I want the payoff now. I don’t want to struggle and I don’t want to be tempted. I don’t want to look at friends who have turned their backs on God and who seem happier and more satisfied than me even though I claim to be a Christian.

Hebrews 11 talks about a bunch of Old Testament people like Abel, Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Moses, Rahab, David and more. The end says this: vs.39“These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.” I guess I should get over this sense of entitlement.

Hebrews 11:13-16:
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Here’s hoping I can learn to live and speak in a way that God is not ashamed to be called my God, even though I won’t see the payoff.

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